


We can be heroes just for one day

by outphan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Banter, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, First Kiss, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 02:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6066436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outphan/pseuds/outphan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes is back and it's time for his first mission. He's worried that something might go wrong. Steve assures him that he's got him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We can be heroes just for one day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PretentiousShipTrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PretentiousShipTrash/gifts).



> Title is from Heroes by David Bowie.
> 
> Also, I wrote this on my tablet, there might be mistakes. And there is one line in Russian, it was translated using Google Translate, if it's not correct, please do contact me.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bucky asks for the umpteenth time.  
  Steve slowly nods. At first, he honestly thought Bucky is ready to go back into action. But now, seeing the Bucky doesn't have faith in himself, Steve's starting to get his doubts. It's not that Steve believes that Bucky's brainwashed behaviour will suddenly take over causing him to go on a killing spree. The thought lurking and lingering in Steve's mind-- no, he knows, but just afraid to admit -- is that Bucky has PTSD. They've never talked about it, never needed to, but Steve's afraid, more than anything, that Bucky will hurt _himself_.  
  "Yes, Buck. It's not that big of a deal anyway. We go in, get the asset, and then get out. We've done harder stuff than this."  
  "I know, but not since..."  
  Steve interrupts him, and he can see that Bucky’s grateful for it. "It'll be fine. It's an easy job. From what we know, it's quite clear that it's not heavily secured. One or two bad guys, but I'm sure you could handle them before you had your morning coffee."  
  Bucky shrugs then he stays quiet for a few seconds. "What if..."  
  Steve interrupts him again. "Seriously, Buck, don't." Steve says, standing up. He opens his arms and starts gesturing. "Imagine this. Bucky Barnes, the hero."  
  "You know that I'm not a hero." Bucky sighs, running his fingers up and down on his metal arm. Steve sees how much it pisses Bucky off, having a metal _thing_ instead of flesh and bones. But he knows that Bucky doesn’t want him to know. "I'm just.... Fucked up."  
  "But you're not." Steve puts both his hands on Bucky's shoulders, leaning down and looking into his eyes. "Come on, Buck. You and me, like in the old times. We fought against Nazis, for Christ's sake, I'm sure we'll have a nice day getting the asset." Steve sees that Bucky still doesn't believe him. He sighs and straightens up. "Have you been listening to the music Sam gave you?"  
  Sam, being the nice person he is, he provided Bucky (and Steve, of course) with a long list of things he needs to watch or listen to.  
  "You're with me pretty much 24/7, I know you know."  
  Steve ignores his comment and continues. "Remember David Bowie's _Heroes_?" Bucky nods. "Well, have that as your motto. ’We can be heroes, just for one day.' If it doesn't work out, we won’t force this."  
  Bucky can't help but smile, Steve looks like a puppy when he wants something. But two can play the game. "You gonna wear your uniform?"  
  Steve laughs quietly. "I know what you're thinking, but it's not the one from '45. I kinda ruined it.”  
  "Shame."

As they're approaching the drop off point, Bucky starts cracking his fingers on his right hand. An old habit of his, whenever he's nervous, he used to crack is knuckles. Steve's happy to see that he's slowly going back to his old habits. He knows that the Bucky he knew before the war is long gone, and he'll never be the same, but at the same time, he feels joy whenever Bucky does something from before. Cracking his fingers is one thing. Although it used to drive Steve crazy as he can't stand the sound of it, now he's delighted to hear it. He’s just worried that Bucky might break his fingers.  
  "We're here, fellas." Natasha says as she lands the jet as close to the old factory as possible. She shuts down the engines, as Steve, Bucky, Sam and several members of the support team stand up. "Everything okay?" she asks Steve, and puts her earpiece in.  
  Steve knows what she's asking: 'Bucky won't freak out, right?' He also knows that Natasha thinks that Bucky's not ready. She was against the idea, and although Steve thinks that she's wrong, he can understand her fears.  
  "Yes, Nat, he'll be fine," Steve answers, a bit irritated. Natasha looks at Bucky, who's retying his shoes and pretending not to listen, then she looks back at Steve, nods and walks away. "I'm sorry," Steve says to Bucky.  
  "It's fine. She's more reasonable than you are."  
  Before Steve could reply, Sam appears in front of him. "So what's the plan, Cap?"  
  Everyone gathers around them, waiting for Steve's instructions. "Sam, you take the roof, see if there's any possible entry or exit routes there. If there are, keep your position and I'm sure you can figure the rest out. Nat, you take Wilson, Everett and Parker and cover the back entrance. There should be a couple of doors on the side as well, make sure no one gets away."  
  "Got it." Natasha nods, and signals her team to follow her.  
  Sam leaves as well and starts getting ready. Steve brings the blueprints of the building up on a tablet and positions it, so everyone can see. "Right, here's what we're going to do. We go in on the first door on the right side, Turner stays at the front entrance, and lets us know even if a cat walks by, we can't take any chances. The asset is held here." He zooms in, until only a little room on the left side can be seen. "There are seven guards around it, or at least were during the last heat scan. We fight our way from entrance to the room, then out on the front entrance. Our orders are not to kill anyone, only if necessary. Any questions?" Everyone shakes their heads. "Good. We leave in 5."  
  Steve picks his shield up and watches Bucky as he checks his gun and then puts it in the holster. Bucky looks at Steve, full of doubt, but Steve believes in him. He believes Bucky can do it. Steve puts his hand on Bucky's shoulder, squeezing it a bit.  
  Bucky looks at Steve. “Tranq me if I do… You know.”  
  Steve nods then as Bucky turns away he lets out a sigh. Everything will be fine.  
  "Right, folks, it's show time,” Steve says. Everyone leaves the plane, Sam flies away to take his position on the roof, while Natasha and her crew starts jogging to the back of the factory. "Let's go," he says to the remaining members.

Bucky hates it, when Steve's right. He hates his stupid, proud smile. And he was right, it was an easy task. Bucky hates it that he feels like a hero. It's a weird feeling, he's not used to it.  
 They rescued the asset, on Dr Geralyn Brown, as Steve called her, "bionic metal arm specialist", without any incident. They knocked out a few bad guys, took them into custody, saved Dr Brown, and became heroes for a day.  
  "Don't ya say it." Bucky warns Steve, as they're sitting in the jet, heading back to the States. They're eating their dinner, BLTs, and talking quietly, letting the rest of the crew sleep. It's a six-hour flight back home, plenty of time to get bored.  
  Steve's grinning, but before he can say anything, Bucky wipes his hands on Steve's sweater. "Seriously?"  
  "What?" Bucky asks, with a completely innocent tone. "You can wash it."  
  "Not bacon grease, no."  
  "Get some magic soap or something, princess."  
  "Jerk."  
  "Punk," Bucky says, remembering many of the times they said it to each other. He smiles, then stands up. "We might as well sleep a bit."  
  "Yeah," Steve says, standing up. He looks around and sees that all the places are gone. "Damn it, people," he curses under his nose, then turns to Bucky. "One of the interrogation rooms is free, at least that doesn't have a metal floor."  
  "Fair enough."  
  Thankfully, there are a couple of pillows and blankets left. Steve hands half of the load to Bucky, then motions to follow him. They quietly walk to the end of the jet, to the small room. Steve knows that they have to lie next to each other and while he has no problems with that, he's worried that Bucky might do.  
  "Sorry, it's small." He grabs the table, while Bucky puts the two chairs outside.  
  "It'll do."  
  They put the pillows to the far end of the room, and take their boots and sweaters off, and lie down. It's not that they never shared a bed, of course they did, Steve's small, single bed in Brooklyn during many of their sleepovers. But it was a lifetime ago, and both of them are aware of that. Bucky's back, yes, but there's a slight tension neither one of them can explain. Maybe it's because of the whole Winter Soldier thing, or maybe because they grew up in a world where everything was different. In a sense, Bucky saw the world change, but Steve didn't. Everything's new to him, and while he's never had a problem with (good) people, it's still unusual to him that two men can get married without any barriers. He's happy that people can do whatever they want, but he knows that deep down he's an old man who can't keep up with the world sometimes.  
  Before the war, before their worlds changed, Bucky was his everything. But then Bucky was gone, or Steve thought he was, and he forced himself to forget those things. Now Bucky is back and it's a new world, with new things and he has to realise that Bucky is _still_ his everything. He knows, that what he felt for Bucky wasn't always platonic or friendly, but something more, something he can't quite grasp, and now, in this new world order, he can do something about it. His final thought, before drifting off to sleep, is the mixture of weird feelings for Bucky.

Steve wakes up to screaming, then feels something heavy on top of him. He opens his eyes, only to find Bucky there with a knife in his hands and a wild, fiery rage in his eyes.  
  "Ты моя миссия. Я должен убить вас."1  
  "Bucky..." Steve says quietly, not to anger Bucky further.  
  "Silence!" Bucky shouts, putting the knife against Steve's throat. He can feel the blade of the knife piercing his skin.  
  "Bucky, it's me, Steve." His breathing speeds up, for a moment that's the only sound in the room. "Bucky, put down the knife, it's over now." Bucky blinks twice, the knife moving back a bit, but it's still there. Steve remembers what the therapist said, he needs to state facts, he needs to ground Bucky. "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. You're safe now. You're safe with me." Bucky moves the knife back more, but he's still confused. "My name is Steve. We grew up together in Brooklyn. My ma used to make you apple pie, you loved it."  
  "Her... her name was Sarah." Bucky says quietly, lowering the knife. "She used to put extra sugar on my slices."  
  "Yes, and you always had lemonade with it."  
  Bucky drops the knife but doesn't move. "Steve?"  
  "It's me. You're okay. You're safe."  
  "Did I hurt you?" Bucky asks looking away.  
  "You didn't, no."  
  "I'm sorry." He looks back at Steve, with his mouth open a bit. It's like he sees Steve for the first time since getting back.  
  "It's okay, Buck, you didn't hurt me."  
  There's a moment of silence between them, Bucky is still gazing at Steve. Steve involuntarily licks his lips and the next thing he knows is that Bucky's mouth is against his, kissing him rather roughly. Before Steve could get over the shock and start kissing Bucky back, he's gone.  
  "I-I'm sorry." Bucky moves away, and lying back down. "I shouldn't have done that."  
  "Shut up, you should've." Steve swiftly turns over, so this time it's him on the top. He kisses Bucky more softly, but still firmly, running through his fingers Bucky's brown hair. Bucky puts his hands on Steve's back, pulling him closer. As he moves his metal hand down to Steve's ass and squeezes it, Steve can't help, but yelp. "I'm sorry," he says quietly, after pulling away. "I can take a lot but not that metal arm."  
  "I'm so sorry, Steve, I still don't realise it's that strong."  
  "It's okay. I mean my ass is pretty much made out of steel, but damn, Barnes."  
  "I'm so sorry," Bucky says closing his eyes for half a second.  
  "Shut up and start kissing, instead."  
  Steve leans in to kiss him, but Bucky speaks in the last second. "Shouldn't we talk first?"  
  "We've been talking for like a 100 years now, it's time we finally started kissing."  
  "Good point."  
  Steve kisses him slowly and sweetly, not letting him turn things rough. It was time, really. Sure, things could've been less complicated, but Steve can finally kiss Bucky and won't have to worry if Bucky thinks that these things are weird. Steve's really happy that he can call Bucky _his Bucky_ again.

"You're my mission. I have to kill you."1


End file.
